May 26th

May 26 is the 147th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. If the ancient Mayans were correct, there are 209 days remaining until the end of time.

1647 Alse Young, hanged in Hartford, Connecticut, becomes the first person executed as a witch in the British American colonies.

1805 Lewis and Clark 1st see Rocky Mountains, are filled with awe and wonder, immediately rip off their clothes and make mad, passionate love. [Or, maybe not.]

1828 Feral child Kaspar Hauser is discovered wandering the streets of Nuremberg.

1860 Giuseppe Garibaldi occupies Palermo, Italy. I particularly like the cut of his jib and the jaunty tilt of his cap!

1922 Lenin has a stroke. A blow job probably would’ve killed him.

1977 George Willig climbs New York City World Trade Center.  Bet he won’t do that again.

1989 Danish parliament allows legal marriage among homosexuals

1993 Long fly ball by Indians' Carlos Martinez bounces off Jose Canseco's head and goes over fence for a home run. Technically, it should’ve been a ground rule double, but steroids make everything perform better.

1928 Jack Kevorkian, US physician/pro-euthanasia activist

1949 Philip Michael Thomas, US actor/Miami Vice 

1964 Lenny Kravitz, US singer/songwriter/musician/producer 

1968 Frederik André Henrik Christian, His Royal Highness The Crown Prince of Denmark, Count of Monpezat , is probably the only person in Denmark who can't marry his homosexual lover.

1970 Julien Boisselier, French actor 

1971 Matt Stone, US animator/screenwriter/director/producer/musician/actor 

1975 TJ Ramini, English actor/budgie smuggler

1977 Romain Froment, French rugger/Dieux du Stade model 

1982 Gonzalo Heredia, Argentine actor 

1983 Sushil Kumar, Indian wrestler/budgie smuggler 

1976 Martin Heidegger, German philosopher (Holzweg), answers his questions on being by being not

1991 Tom Eyen, playwright (Dreamgirls), succumbs to AIDS at 50

2010 Art Linkletter, 97 year-old Canadian-American radio and television personality, probably says the darndest thing.

April 12th

April 12 is the 103rd day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. If the ancient Mayans were correct, there are 253 days remaining until the end of time.

1606 England adopts Union flag.

1861 Fort Sumter in South Carolina is shelled by Confederacy, starting Civil War.

1877 Catcher's mask 1st used in a baseball game. Here is pitcher Kazuhito Tadano catching without a mask

1954 Bill Haley and Comets record "ROCK Around Clock" and Joe Turner releases "Shake, Rattle AND ROLL" Coincidence? No. ORDAINED BY GOD ALMIGHTY

1981 Maiden voyage of space shuttle Columbia. She will be royally fucked 22 years later.

1988 Sonny Bono is elected mayor of Palm Springs, California, by people who obviously use massive quantities of drugs before casting their ballots

1992 Actress Lisa Bonet files for divorce from singer Lenny Kravitz.  You silly, silly girl.

1994 Laurence Canter & Martha Siegel post the first commercial mass Usenet spam.

1777 Henry Clay, US statesman/Whig Party founder/the Great Compromiser 

1932 Tiny Tim, US singer/musician in the very loosest sense of the words.  Another heterosexual trying to be fabulous--smh.

1936 Charles Napier, US actor 

1945 Mike Davis, US porn star 

1950 David Cassidy, US singer/actor/Keith Partridge/little person 

1964 Amy Ray, gay US singer/one half of the Indigo Girls 

1965 Paul Dillet, Canadian bodybuilder 

1971 Jack Napier, US porn star 

1971 Kevin Donovan and Nicholas Brendon[Schultz] - US actors/twins 

1976 Ivan Komarenko, Russian actor/singer 

1978 Luca Argentero, Italian model/actor 

1979 Paul Nicholls, English actor  

1980 Brian McFadden, Irish boyband singer/Westlife 

1984 Kevin Geyson, Canadian diver 

1987 Brendon Urie, US singer/musician 

1878 William Marcy "Boss" Tweed, New York politician, will still get his votes counted for twenty more years despite today’s tragic turn of events

1945 Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 32nd President (D) (1933-1945), will not seek a 5th term despite his overwhelming popularity

1975 St. Louis native Josephine Baker, bisexual US (STLMO)/French revue artist (Folies-Bergere), keeps her clothes on

1989 Abbie Hoffman, US yippie peace activist, conforms drastically

1989 "Sugar" Ray Robinson, US heavyweight boxing champ, gets counted out

2001 Harvey R. Ball, graphic designer (invented the ubiquitous smiley face in 1963), :(

2009 Marilyn Chambers, American pornographic actress, chooses the prize behind the green door.